Looks can be deceiving...

Saw this when I went up Cameron Highlands last weekend...

Why do people need to imitate others? We should be proud of who we are!

Dewa 19

The "old sensei" was back in action during the Dewa 19 concert at Stadium Negara on22-Dec-07.

It was GREAT!!.. nothing else to say about it.. Although I wish they had played "Cintailah Cinta", "Mistikus Cinta" and "Emotional Love Song"..

It was my wife's first concert ever! She's now a 'Baladewi' by the way.. hehe..

The reason...

Biggest news in Raya Haji history!

I got the best news ever this morning..

One of my dreams will come true in the VERY near future.. I knew it was coming but never thought it'll be this soon.. especially only after throwing the idea a few weeks before and presenting just the data at the company's group meeting yesterday morning...

Don't worry, you'll get the details once everything is in black & white..

Golden opportunities like this only comes along once in a lifetime, the amount of effort I put in next must reflect that.. I foresee that 2008 is the year I'll be sleeping standing!! :P

I need a bigger board..

I'm thinking of getting a bigger whiteboard...

But now as I sit in this training about personal finance, I may need to recosider wether I REALLY need it or not... hmmm...

This is how my mind works...

Been pushing my brains to work over time since Saturday evening and 24hours later this was the result...

I think I may have found an answer to my question - "What should I focus (decide) on doing?" ;)

Let's see what happens from today onwards la..

I just need to decide....

I've been highlighted of my problem.. what's been pulling me back all this while.. I was a lalang in a sense that I'm easily influenced to do what's exciting for me at that particular point of time..

Now, I need to get out of it.. I need to decide and go.. hmmm... requires major thinking on my part...

It's only a stage...

Today's post is my 99th.. And what better to share one of my learnings from a wise sensei that I came to know recently..

This wise sensei is truely a master in his field.. he has been working in his line for 32 years and he was kind enough to pass down his knowledge to me - the so-to-say "chosen one" la.. ;)
The 59-year old man has taken me under his wings and pledged to make me one of the best in this country, and the road ahead seems to be quite tough for me.. :P

Now, what I want to share with you guys here is what he said to me few hours back.. I had asked him how did he managed to keep his sanity after all these years.. The wise sensei said, "Every morning when I shave.. I look into the mirror and remind myself, it's only a stage"..

It got me thinking... we do need that reality check regularly in life as there are many things that we need to do to but at the same time it must not consume you as a person.. because at the end of the day, we don't own anything.. it's only a stage where we need to put on the best show for the audience..

People just DON'T CARE..

I'm not upset about people..
I just wanted to pen down something that made sense to me recently...
It way seem obvious but we always forget that the fact is, people don't care..

What I mean here is.. people don't know and can never know about things that is not present.. in other words, people can only judge by what is in front of them.. and that makes it hard to care about the other person..

Example.. Your friend comes to you and says that he was late because he got stuck in traffic.. what would your response be? Most likely you'd asked which road he / she took and empathize.. Now, put a stanger in that same situation.. what's your response? You won't care much to ask anything now would you? Worst if that was your first encounter with him / her, because you'll assume that being late is his / her normal behaviour.. and unlike your friend which you have data from past encounters, the need to care fades to exist.. just because of the present judgement...

I'll save the details for some other time.. but what I'd like to share for now is the fact that, because of this;

Perception = Reality

And it will always be like that, because we will always judge a book by it's cover first as we can't see straight into the contents.. embracing this fact would surely help you in dealing with self expectations in terms of human relationship.. stay positive but not too optimistic.. ;)

I think I got it...

10 days after asking myself "am I living for something worth dying for?", I got a hint to the answer..
I noticed that.. I need a reason for everything!
I also noticed that... I need more data in order for me to get better..

I know the above may not make any sense to you, but atleast I'm understanding myself at a more conscious level nowdays and I have a reason to live for a better day ahead.. ;)


sensei says "I'm busy because I want more free time.."

What drives you?

I'm aware that I'm not being consistent.. there are days that I'm so driven to do things, then the next day I'm struggling to get even 1 thing finished.. some may say that consistency comes from discipline but I feel otherwise, mainly because I believe that something else drives that consistency.. you may use whatever term - passion, energy, spirit, etc..

I guess the best way to see it is by asking yourself daily that..

"Are you living for something worth dying for?"

And guess what, my honest answer to that is not yet..

Time......

I posted my 1st blog last year.. September 25th, 2006.. It was titled "Just call me sensei"

Same date this year.. I conducted my first training session.. It was a half day session but never the less, I felt like I had truely become a sensei (teacher).. the module on that day was "Becoming a Star Performer".. Imagine taking on such a huge subject on your 1st trial!! Of coz I had some practice under supervision before but that day I was alone for the 1st time.. seram gak.. hehe

The true test came on my 29th birthday when I had to conduct both morning and afternoon sessions on my own.. bayangkan, dah la puasa, kena conduct training lagi.. Alhamdulillah, overall it went well.. :)

This year's Ramadhan was a totally life changing process.. I had always felt close to it but this year would be one that I'll surely remember.. too much things happening around that it went by so fast.. What I want to carry on with me for the next few remaining Ramadhan days and hopefully till the next Ramadhan onwards is.. Striving to make today better than yesterday...

Teruskan perjuangan Ramadhan ini & Selamat menyambut kemenangan anda di Syawal nanti..

Yesterday was my birthday...

I'd like to share this song with you guys... ;)

Just Older
by Bon Jovi


Hey, man, its been a while
Do you remember me?
When I hit the streets I was 17
A little wild, a little green
Ive been up and down and in between
After all these years
Can you believe Im still chasing that dream
But I aint looking over my shoulder

Chorus:
I like the bed Im sleeping in
Its just like me, its broken in
Its not old -- just older
Like a favorite pair of torn blue jeans
This skin Im in its alright with me
Its not old -- just older

Its good to see your face
You aint no worse for wear
Breathing that california air
When we took on the world
When we were young and brave
We got secrets that well take to the grave
And were standing here shoulder to shoulder

Chorus:
I like the bed Im sleeping in
Its just like me, its broken in
Its not old -- just older
Like a favorite pair of torn blue jeans
This skin Im in its alright with me
Its not old -- just older

Im not old enough to sing the blues
But I wore the holes in the soles of these shoes
You can roll the dice til they call your bluff
But you cant win until youre not afraid to lose

Solo

Well, I look in the mirror
I dont hate what I see
Theres a few more lines staring back at me
The nights have grown a little colder

Hey man, I gotta run
Now you take care
If you see coach T tell him I cut my hair
Its been all these years
Can you believe Im still chasing dreams
But I aint looking over my shoulder

Chorus:
I like the bed Im sleeping in
Its just like me, its broken in
Its not old -- just olderLike a favorite pair of torn blue jeans
This skin Im in its alright with me
It s not old -- just older


sensei - Leave it to Bon Jovi to come up with such cheesy songs.. haha..

Old tool rediscovered.. Part 2

After we're cleared the air about change and expectation, we go into the mode of what it takes to make that change..

During this stage it's always best to think small.. list out what activities that you can do (or support) to make the change.. Let's take loosing weight as an example.. At first you surely need to have a target to aim for.. without a clear goal, you're better of not thinking about it at all.. Imagine walking into a soccer field without knowing which side of the goal is your's..
Now let say you aim to loose 5kg in 3 months (I've never had an issue with my weight so I'm not sure if this is realistic or not - but I did lost 9kg in 3 months in 2002) so you should list down what are those activities that will help you achieve it.. right? So list out things like - cut down on meal portion, go for jogging every Saturday morning or whatever.. Usually that is what normal people do... We want to be extraordinary, so let's take it to the next level with deliberate practice!

Taking the above as an example, deliberate practice is not just jogging but perfecting your jog to be more effective.. If golf is your passion, deliberate practice is not going to the driving range to hit 100 balls, it going to the driving range to hit 100 balls with 3-wood to reach 200 yards 80% of the time.. Again I'm not a golfer so it may sound strange.. but you get the picture laa.. on a more personal note, just to share, my deliberate practice to save time while taking my morning shower was to be able to grab the bar of soap with my left hand and start applying to my right arm 1st.. it took me over a month to get it down to a habit.. and guess what, it works! :P

So now apply that onto other areas of life.. like making a person smile whenever you greet them.. turning to a certain page to refer when asked.. everything or anything you want to work on, apply deliberate practice... Imagine what you can do when it becomes a habit and you do it subconsiously.. Cool huh?

Old tool rediscovered..

Ever heard of deliberate practice?

Well, it's the most powerful tool for self-improvement provided that you are patient enough.. You see, change doesn't happen over night.. and even if change happens, it takes quite an amount of effort and energy to sustain the consistancy..

Some poeple are just plain impatient.. they say something and hope the world will change in a zap.. well, it doesn't! It takes time.. but what you can do is help them in their deliberate practice.. the help can be in a form of support, or even helping them identifying what they should work on to make that change happen..

That's just a teaser for you guys.. I gotta go and will continue later.. in the meantime remember this simple advise from a wise sensei "think small when it comes to making improvements as the tiny drops makes the mighty ocean"...

See ya!!

Confirmed!!

As of 2pm today, I was confirmed!
21 days ahead of my 6 month probation period... ;)

So now officially I'm no longer an engineer..
Hmmm.. need to change my profile wordings.. hehe..

We can only plan....

Department's retreat has been cancelled...

Woohoo!!

I'll be able to watch the Japanese fireworks at Putrajaya & see the 50th Merdeka Parade!!

Alhamdulillah.. Life is kind to me.. ;)

Food for thought..

Been doing some 'self reflection' (hansei, muhasabah which ever you like la) lately trying to figure out why I am the way I am and why I act the way I act... It's hard admitting you screwed up but it's harder to break that habit or as I'd refer to it - addiction...

Most of us are prone to do what we like.. sometimes what we like may not be the right thing to do at that moment in time, but we still do it.. degil!!.. so, why are we so stubborn?
That's the exercise I did and ended up uncovering some dirt under the rug.. I may have started alot of things with the wrong intentions.. I screwed up..

But the important thing is now, where do I go from here? What should I do to get out of the ruts? Hmmm.. I don't know and I'm still trying to figure it out.. balancing everything else at the same time without letting the world know - except you guys who read this la.. hehe..

"Everything has a limit, even human emotions" by Napoleon Bonaparte - a wise sensei indeed..

enjin kara mawari

Haven't been getting enough sleep lately... and on most of the nights, I have weird dreams.. this situation is really disturbing (dozed off while driving back from Seremban.. twice!!).. I'm sure it's not stress as I never felt better emotionally.. come to think of it, I may be suffering from over excitement.. hehe..

Anyway, check out the Merdeka spirit going on at my house.. even sensei's V is paying respect to our En Jalur Gemilang ;)

To have a GOAL...

I had always saw 'goal setting' as just another self-motivation concept.. until today..

Today we had a internal training session to really sit down and look at what each of us really wanted in life.. It was a struggle in itself as when ever something pops up in your head, you had question yourself why you want it... Of course the normal ones came out first like wanting a bigger house, get a slicker car, etc.. but as you go deeper, you find out that it might not make any sense since you already have the mechanism to serve that particular purpose -- maybe you're just not that happy because you're comparing what you have with another person.. see.. "Comparison creates unhappiness"... but the point of the exercise is not to create a 'wish list'.. it's actually going deep inside to reexamine what drives you to work harder, to keep you going on a daily basis and carry on in that persuit of happiness.. that is self-motivation!

It took me a good 3 hours before I could write down the most appealing goal that I want to achieve.. and to get it out of my system was such a relief that my hands was literally shaking as I wrote it in my planner.. I found a new passion for my work!

You see guys, even though a goal is merely the destination that you're heading to.. it is vital to have one as you will be more guided.. and by that you won't waste your energy trying to 'figure out life'.. Instead you'll be more free to enjoy the journey to reach that destination...

Try it by asking yourself..
1) What do I want?
2) Why do I want it?
3) What do I need to do to achieve it?

and then things will become clearer, and you'll automatically be able to move towards that direction without always having to concentrate on where to step next..

as a wise sensei once said "Life's a journey, not a destination".. so let's enjoy the scenery too ;)

Down South..

I'm in JB now... was in Seremban this morning doing some consultancy job and tomorrow is a seminar.. sounds like a big deal huh? Not really.. hehe..

Anyway, I've never actually drove such distance alone so I was a new experience for me.. even got to hit 140kmph just before entering the Johor state border.. 1st time sensei's V went that fast.. :P

Blind Sight - reunited -

Yesterday was a really a 'feel good' day...

Went jamming with the guys.. 1st time I met James sinced I left SHARP and actually the 1st time we jammed together since our performance in December '06.. even with a different guitarist, I felt our chemistry was still there... like slipping in an ol' pair of jeans..

The drive back was somewhat bitter sweet though.. the feeling of not knowing if we'll ever get to perform together again... hmmm... well.. just hope for the best & prepare for the worse.. ;)

Mighty STRONG words - rephrased -

Was sparring around the same quote (please refer previous post) and came out with this version myself..

"Don't let work interfere with your GREATNESS"...

My take on that is.... sometimes we are so preoccupied to earn that pay cheque at the end of the month that we forget our own goals and dreams that we wanted to achieve..

As a child, one may have wanted to be a police officer to help others and prevent crime, but as he/she grows up and actually dons the uniform, tends to only be on the look out during their duty hour... Kinda sad isn't it?

Mighty STRONG words

Watashi no gakusei no minasan,

Yoku yondekudasai.. ;)

Mark Twain once said, "Don't let schooling interfere with your education"...
hmm... a wise sensei indeed..

You see guys, a lot of people out there assumes that education is what you get from sitting in the class from morning to afternoon 5 or 6 days a week and a piece of paper to prove that you answered correctly a bunch of questions within a pre determined amout of time.. and so you get some 'kids' who are satisfied with 11 years of schooling, 16 years of schooling, 18 years of schooling or some that are still hunting for that piece of paper at the age of 40!

Education is important.. but so is actually experiencing it.. trying out what you learned..

There is sooooo much more that we can learn from the outside world.. don't get me wrong here.. of coz structured learning is good (provided that you actually pay attention and think through the given information).. but you can pick up loads more if you are willing to open up and clear your mind..

So don't get stressed on targeting to score 100%, 10A1 or CGPA 3.0 or whatever.. It doesn't prove that you can do better in a job or be more successful than the next guy... Just make sure you understand the basic skills that you want to develope...
it's not about writing a 1000 word essay, but writing without silly mistakes..
it's not about programming in C++, but understanding the sequence of events that follows..
it's not about studying abroad, but how you matured in a foreign land out of your comfort zone...

I stopped schooling when I graduated in 2001.. I only started teaching last year... but I don't think that the process of educating myself has stopped.. the awareness has just been awaken and so I share this interesting and fun journey with you guys la.. ;)

Relationship Management: Simple but effective...

I just learned this today..

There are 3 basic tools that we use when we want to 'communicate' with someone..
1- Phone
2- E-mail
3- Face-to-face

Now, in order to have a good relationship, one must be able to understand how the next person would react to what we want to say.. so to have the best of both worlds, try this out...

1- When you are sharing information, use the phone
2- When you are sharing information and seeking for opinion, use e-mail
3- When you are sharing something that is debatable, talk face-to-face..

Why?
Because the other person might be offended by what you want to say... added with our own lack of skills in the communicating (bad story teller, wrong choice of words, etc) we might end up making things worse...

In fact, studies have shown that in communication, 55% of what is being understood by the receiver is influenced by "visual" while 38% is "vocal" and only 7% is "words".. so your body language can actually support your point -- saying for the sake of sharing concerns and not debating to prove wrong or right..

So guys, let's maintain a good relationship (especially with the ones we care for) by making a small change in our daily communication.. ;)

Logically understanding Vs. Emotionally understanding..

The difference between listening to something then saying, "hey.. that makes sense" and feeling it is not the same.. How often do we hear statements, advise and whole lot of other sequence of words that is logically true in nature? And how often do we ourselves say something logically correct but don't really believe in it?

Way before I even had interest in becoming a 'sensei' (Japanese language teacher that is) I had often heard that "teaching is a very rewarding profession".. I know teachers don't make a lot in terms of silver and gold but I've seen the satisfaction in the teachers when they see one of their students become successful in what the student themselves want to achive.. My late father was a teacher and my mother too was a teacher.. So, logically when I started, I understood that if I sincerely teach my students what little I know, I will find that satisfaction..

Recently my class came to a crossroad.. the kids have been learning Japanese for almost 2 years (even prior to me being their sensei) and other commitments started to clash.. some are facing major exams, some are moving on with their lives while some are just trying to figure out what's next.. I had seen it coming so I gave them the power to choose for themselves.. no sales pitch, I just told them to do the right thing for themselves.. with that, 2 of them decided to call it a day..

It was expected and I was cool with it.. but then came the SMS that went straight to my heart.. from a student who occasionally speaks a few words in class...exact letter by letter..

it's been great learning from sensei :)

And at that exact time (19:49:21 - July 14th, 2007), I had emotionally understood the saying "teaching is a very rewarding profession".. Pure gold!!

I can't say anything more......

For what it's worth...

Caught Buletin Utama's sports segment last night.. it seems that most of our soccer fans are furious at the National Squad's defeat to China.. to me, it was no suprise actually (unlike Japan's draw - they played bad!)..

5-1 at home ground is no joke, I know that but come on la guys, you really thought we had a chance ke? China actually qualifed for the World Cup in 2002, we couldn't even win a SEA Games gold medal!

Anyway, what lies beneath all this is more than the squad, the coach, FAM, or even the government for that matter.. it all has to do with the Malaysian attitude in general.. read this article and you'll understand where I'm coming from..

--
Don’t mock ‘process’, follow it
By N R Narayana Murthy

One of India’s best-known business leaders argues that the Indian cricket team failed because Chappell’s process was not implemented correctly
The tragedy of India is that instead of seeing what’s wrong with us and taking steps to correct it, we indulge in hysterics and look for scapegoats. Right now, everyone’s busy blaming the coach and the captain. But India has a long record of playing badly away from home, which precedes both Rahul Dravid and Greg Chappell. So why single them out?
The real problem, I believe, lies with the system. Not just in cricket, but in virtually any walk of life, we are unwilling to put in hard work and live with discipline. Other countries are so neat, clean and well-organised but Indian cities are a mess, because we’re simply not willing to respect the rules. We can succeed, not just in cricket, but in everything else if we only follow four basic principles: strictly adhere to meritocracy, be willing to work hard, adopt global best practices in training and follow absolute discipline.
We need to pick the best guys available, based purely on merit and no other considerations. And the same applies to the coach. People keep asking whether we need a foreign coach. I don’t think that’s an issue at all. We should ask, who’s the best guy for the job? Whoever it is should get it.
Next, once you’ve given someone a mandate, let him implement it without interference. At Infosys, we have all our debates, arguments and discussions before it’s decided who’ll be responsible for something. Once it’s decided that X is the boss, all arguments stop and everyone rallies behind him. We shouldn’t be constantly undermining the coach by trying to second-guess him.
I know ‘process’ has become a much-mocked term, but at Infosys we firmly believe in following processes and it’s always worked for us. If Chappell’s process didn’t work, maybe it was because it wasn’t followed properly or he wasn’t allowed to implement it in full. I’ve read that some senior players were allowed to get away with indiscipline and that’s totally unacceptable. No matter how big a star you are, if you’re disruptive to the team, you need to be shown the exit. Never mind if we lose a few matches. If you follow the correct process, positive results are bound to eventually follow.
Frankly, I don’t think having a coaching camp for a few days helps. I’d suggest that we pick the 30 guys who we believe are the best in the country. They should all be given good salaries by BCCI and closeted in a hitech training centre round the year. Rotate them so that even if 15 are playing a series, the other 15 are training.
Ensure that everyone gets to train intensively during the year. Follow best practices from around the world, give the players the best facilities and make them work really hard—eight hours a day. If anyone refuses to practice or follow the rules, axe him immediately. Follow these principles and you’re bound to have a worldbeating team.
(As told to Vikas Singh)

--
A businessman's take on sports.. now you know why most international football clubs generate better players..

LOST & FOUND

Guys...

I know I've been 'LOST' these past few months.. I'm so lost that I've even missed the new season of LOST! and knowing me as a TV freak, you'll be suprised to know that the only show I watched for the last 4 months is 'HEROES'.. and now that 'HEROES' has ended its season run, I might end up not watching TV at all.. geezzz...

Anyway I did managed to catch Transformers last Friday night.. It was an effort on its own as me and my wife left the house at about 11pm to catch the 'early morning' show at Cineleasure... It was probably the best night out since.......... goshhh.. tak boleh recall laa.. hehe.. The movie actually made my wife a fan! Me, I had chills hearing Optimus Prime's voice!! If only they had put in more time for the robot's character to develope... it was also quite sad to see Jazz die.. I know for a fact that his original voice also passed away not long ago.. I guess they wanted to bring a closure to that character..

So guys... TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT!!

Chasing cars....

I love that song by Snow Patrol... and the funny thing is, I only seriously listen to it after watching that episode of Grey's Anotomy...

I get that a lot lately... the Spider-Man 3 (which I only watched today :P ) theme song was also the same case.. really couldn't figure out why it was a ballad this time around, but after watching the movie, it was like... ohhh... NOW I get it... hehehe...

I think I've been doing a lot of concious thinking lately.. the 'speed' is not there yet but I'm trying to improve on that.. it's really tiring.. conciously thinking...

By the way, I'm now at the airport.. nope, I'm not going anywhere.. just sending of my auntie.. It'll be a couple of months before I'll see her again.. and I don't know why but I'm missing her already.. :P

Oh and today is actually 05-06-07.. happens to be my beloved wife's birthday... she doesn't really read my blog but.. I just want her to know that I really REALLY love her and I'm very lucky to have her by my side... geeezzz this post is getting sappy.. hehehe..

See ya...!!!

sensei - When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail...

Loosing IT...

I must be loosing it....
Sooo much happen in these past few months and a whole load to say, but I couldn't get myself to start writing... I'm not brain dead or anything, just that I can't seem to get my priorities straight.. and this blog has fallen way down on my list... Damn! That was the one thing I feared the most...

But I guess things will happen if you allow it too..
A wise sensei once said to me "The environment is a product of me.. not the other way around"..
Well I guess I did cause this lapse to happen.. so there's not much to say there... :P

Back after 6 years....

I'm in Langkawi now... last time I was here was in 2001 few days before I joined SHARP... that time I was the odd one out.. not because I was the only Malaysian in a group of Japanese, but there were 5 of us and 4 were couples... Damn! :P

Nevertheless, now I'm back... I can see much have changed over the years... and I'm sure I'll see more as tomorrow my exploration begins.. ;)

I'll post some pics later on...

I LOVE 3G TECHNOLOGY!! hehehe....

What I can afford for now..

I'm getting there guys... :)
In the meantime.. enjoy this one.. boleh main gitar kalau mau.. hehe


I Dont Love You
by
My Chemical Romance

Intro:
C///////Am///////G///////F///G///

Verse:
C
Well when you go
Am
don't ever think i'll make you try to stay
G
and maybe when you get back
C
I'll be off to find another way
C
And after all this time that you still owe
Am
you're still the good for nothing i don't know
G
so take your gloves and get out, better get out
C
while you can

Chorus:
F G
When you go
G/G# A5 G5 F5
would you even turn to say
F/E F
i don't love you
G
like i did
C
yesterday

Verse:
C
sometimes i cry so hard from pleading
Am
so sick and tired of all the needless beating
G
but baby when they knock you down and out
C
it's where you oughta stay
C
and after all the blood that you still owe
Am
another dollar's just another blow
G
so fix your eyes and get up, better get up
C
while you can

Chorus2: (as before)
Guitar solo: (chords as for chorus)
Chorus3:
F G
When you go
G/G# A5 G5 F5
would you have the guts to say
F/E F
i don't love you
G
like i loved you
C C/B A G
yesterday
F
i don't love you
G
like i loved you
C C/B A G
yesterday
F
i don't love you
G
like i loved you
C
yesterday



Singles wise, MCR has yet to disappoint me..

What's up?

Don't worry guy's, I'm still alive and kicking... well maybe not kicking much but that's because I'm polishing my kicks.. ;)

sensei is burning but wait for the pheonix to rise from the ashes.. muahahaha...

Famous last words..

I got writer's block.

I don't know what to write for my "farewell E-mail" to my colleagues..

I got alot to say.. but I got want to sound cocky..

I got loads of proverbs.. but it'll be too cliche..

The nostalgic feeling is too overwhelming, I can't think straight.. Damn!

A wise sensei once said "Being yourself is the hardest thing to do".. and now, I have to go to the loo.. hihi..

PAI Concept

I'm sure some of you out there was thought of this 'PAI concept' in high school.. It only 'clicked' in my brain recently and now I've been 'working' on the practicality of it.. See, school does makes sense.. :P

The 'PAI concept' was used in Pendidikan Agama class to define iman (faith).. Don't worry, I'm not going to preach you on Islam here, I just want to share the knowledge..

PAI actually stands for Percaya dalam hati (believe in one's heart), Amal dengan anggota (act through action), Ikrar dengan lidah (pledged verbally).. It is explained that iman (faith) is only complete when these 3 conditions are met.. in other words, for example if you only say you believe in God and act like it (by praying, etc) without actually believing in it deep inside your heart, than you are not truly having faith in God..

So that is the original 'PAI concept'..

Now, my 'revolution' on this concept is.. PIA.. Percaya (believe it) --> Ikrar (say it) --> Amal (do it) in that exact sequence.. and you can use it to keep yourself motivated in reaching you goals - wether in life, studies, career or anything..

Note: I still refer to it as 'PAI' since it's more catchy and easier to remember than 'PIA' (reference: apple pie, pie chart, etc)

Let me explain through this 3 simple steps..

1. What you want (to do, to have, to be etc), first and foremost, you must truely believe it in your heart.

2. Talk about it.. be it with your friends, family, even enemies - basically anybody and everybody including yourself in front of the mirror - that you want it.. verbally not just mentally, you need to hear the words come out of your mouth and into your ears yourself.

3. Act accordingly and seize the opportunity to work in line with what you want. Don't shy away. You want it, so do it!

I'm not just being 'macam bagus je' here.. I'm sharing this because I went through life with several coincidences without realizing that I've been following this 'PAI concept' all this time..

First was my book - Antara Pen & Bola (published name Cemerlang & Menang Cara Bolasepak)
I believed deep inside that I can and would write a book on management.. Then I went on to talk about it.. I told my family and often talked about the concept of relating management with soccer.. I even wrote a short article on it and gave it to my company's training officer to read.. Few months later the opportunity came.. I saw an add via a mailing list saying that they were looking for people who were interested in writing and I responded..

The next PAI cycle came when the publisher said they wanted to publish the book by World Cup season.. I believed that I could write it within 3 months (met them in March 2006).. I had calculated the topics and number of pages with the days I had to write and I knew I could do it.. So of course I agreed and said that I will finish it on time.. I gave my commitment and worked on it.. I sacrificed my weekends and wrote until 3am at times as the ideas kept coming.. and I finished writing 108 pages before the end of May 2006..

At the same time, I had always envied my company's training officer.. I believed that could do her job, if not better! I talked about wanting to be a trainer with my wife and some of my friends.. I even went to my old high school to try out my skills and requested a few minutes time with an audience from my former form teacher.. I also took up teaching Japanese part time to further develop my skills and improve on my fear of public speaking.. yes, I was a shy kid at school and would tremble like an earthquake every time I had to come up front to talk.. :P

Now, that PAI cycle (of wanting to be a trainer, plus the book) has gotten me here.. And as of 21st March 2007, I'll be officially holding the post of Training Consultant.. :)

Dreams are ment to be chased -- just know the correct way of running so you can catch up ;)

Since now I have understood this PAI concept.. I'm not shy or afraid to say (list out) what are my next goals.. I'm also not being cocky because I know by doing this, it will keep me motivated and somewhere along the line the opportunity will come and if I didn't noticed it, one of you guys could point it out to me.. ;)

So you're reading it here first..
--> Within 2 years, I'll be on TV giving a motivation talk
--> Within 3 years, I'll earn a 5 figure salary

I better stop blonging for today and get to work on it.. hihi..

Save our kids..

OK.. so the title is a bit over the top.. but still, I believe in safety - Hey, I'm still a safety engineer until my last day here in this company, ok..? :P

I took this picture while stuck in a jam coming home from work.. How many kids do you see riding this 'Bas Sekolah'?



I roughly counted 20! That's 20 lives of our future in that van they call a bus.. And I'm sure none of them (including the 50plus-year-old-looking drive) wore seatbelts.. Damn!!

Putting on safety gears (helmets, seatbelts, etc) is not only to avoid kena saman, it's for your own protection -- try to get that through your not-so-thick-as-you-think skull.. atleast be selfish in that sense laa..

He's got THE look..

I've been getting a lot of this comment lately.. People are saying I look different..

I'd say perhaps it's because I'm leaving this company and I feel good about it.. hehe

And many do agree I look happier now.. :)

Well, it just shows that how you feel inside reflects on the outside..

It's all about YOU..

I've been getting a lot of support lately.. and the feeling is overwhelming!

It seems that many of my friends out there see a better picture of me than myself.. when I mentioned to them that I'll be leaving the engineering field to persue a career in Training, many congratulated me and said I'd be great at it.. They say I'll fit in like a glove and that is what I'm destined to do.. To be honest, I have my doubts.. I know I get nervous easily and I'm not that articulate.. I'm just not as good as how I want to be..

But people see me as more than that.. At first I was thinking, "Well, these are people close to me and they're just being nice".. However this morning I got an e-mail from my e-pal (a friend of a friend that became my e-mail friend that I've been in touch with since 2004 but never actually met).. and basically the contents were that she had more faith in me than I have.. probably through the years of our correspondence she saw that I'm not the typical technical guy.. kot?

I've always believed in "Think positive and prepare for the worst".. but sometimes it's just not only to think positive but you have to believe it.. Change to words you use when you think.. For example, from "I know I can score" to "I will score".. and (I know I'm saying this to myself) reduce the negative aspect by reducing the word "but" from you vocabulary..

I'm learning to believe in myself and my true potentials.. If people can see it, why can't I? kan? :)

I felt the Earth moved!

This ain't a song.. I really felt it this time.. and so did my Japanese boss..
He said some guys in our Batu Pahat factory also felt the slight tremor earlier (I felt the 1st one at about 10 minutes before noon)..

Well, we'll just have to see the news tonight to be sure..

It's a beutiful day...

Okay.. I know I've been posting alot of lyrics lately.. but this one is not about the U2 song.. I just want to share my happiness with all of you guys out there..

I woke up at about 6am this morning.. got 3 SMSes in my handphone.. all were sent at about 10.40pm (I fell asleep at around 10.15).. One of the 3 was from my new employer.. basically she said my sister got the job!! My dreams to have my sister join this same company and work together with me has came true!

Let me take you guys back a few weeks ago..

I did know from my mother that my sister was unhappy with her current job.. my mom did ask me to help her out but it never clicked in my head to do anything.. basically it was way too out of my league.. all I could say to my mom was - she need to want it, have to work for it.. all the excuses of the newspaper was hard to get, etc was just rubbish.. I referred to my own experience of being called for an interview because I saw the add (from my auntie's newspaper - I also didn't buy newspapers hehe) and acted upon it.. Sungguh riaknye aku ni..

As time went by and I went through the process of actually wanted to get a new job, I tried and prayed to God at the same time.. In my prayers I'd always ask for the best for me and my family.. even in the interviews, I'd always stressed on the importance of my family to me.. I'm the only son (even though the youngest of only 2) but I know its my responsability to take care of my family.. at that time my sis was in the picture but not top priority..

Then on 1st of March, during the Residential Training session, they showed me this DVD.. It opened up my mind.. I saw it and everything clicked.. I reaffirmed my beliefs in the power of "wanting it".. you see, when you want something (bad), you will visualize having it, then you will ask for it (be it to God, or any other way you're confortable with) and at the end of the day, you'll get it eventually..

As I recall the session, I can say that I actually 'saw' my sister in the room.. I understood now that all the years I had though (but never materialized) about working together with my sister, this is the time that it will actually happen.. this is the venue.. this is the missing link between the two of us (we were never close, even in family gathering we hardly even talked) it was a very emotional moment for me..

That night I called her and we worked on preparing her resume.. it was the longest conversation we had our whole life!! And the next day I passed her resume to my (soon to be) boss.. it was truely a last minute thing, but she managed to squeeze in my sis for the interview..

All I kept saying to my sis was think about actually getting the job.. I went to her house and we talked about the 'opportunity' and watched the DVD together (we were given copies).. Sunday morning I brought her and the whole family to see the place so she could visualize her being there.. We were pumped.. the positive vibe was overflowing..

So, yesterday she went for the interview.. she was the last candidate and my boss had partly committed to getting the other gal.. but my sis must have wanted it more and actually caused my boss to go nuts because for the first time she said that she could not decide between the two..

Our prayers had eventually been answered last night.. :)

Now I'm more excited to start my new job and my energy level is at a new high.. no more turning back, it's all me (and my sis) now.. it's up to us to be more of what we can be..

"You are who you are now because of the past, the future you depends on who you are being now"


p/s: I'm sure my mom is the happiest amongst us - she always wanted us to be closer like other 'normal' brother and sister.. :P

1000 words worth of picture each :)

A couple of pics I got via a forwarded mail...

Seriously la..

How stupid can the girl be?? :P

And here's what I call a good sign!


Should have this one standardized for the whole nation.. :)

Rockened Roller Coaster

The past few days have been a very INTERESTING.. I went for my "preview" at PJ Hilton and 2 additional session at Pearl International Hotel..
Man, words can't even discribe how I felt..

First was the PJ Hilton sint.. It was the company's 4th Quater Business Plan Meeting.. it was like a hammering session for everybody.. even a water bottle went flying at one point.. Man, you can't imagine the culture shock I had..
I came back home that night mentally exhausted and my body was aching due to my stress level that went sky high (the traffic jam didn't help much either).. I was having doubts about my choise.. (I'm sparing the details as the past is the past and need not be dwelled upon hehe)

Then came the Residential Training.. suddenly everything fell nicely into place.. the working environment that I had longed for over the years was right in front of me.. it was too good to be true!

I guess that's life.. nothing is perfect all the time.. and more importantly, the bad is only as bad as you make of it.. I'm sure this new place would help me grow and realize my full potential.. ;)

So the songs that has accompanied me the past few days were these two.. Love it or hate it..

Relax, Take It Easy
by
Mika

Took a right to the end of the line
Where no one ever goes.
Ended up on a broken train with nobody I know.
But the pain and the (longings) the same.
(Where the dying
Now I'm lost and I'm screaming for help.)

Relax, take it easy
For there is nothing that we can do.
Relax, take it easy
Blame it on me or blame it on you.

It's as if I'm scared.
It's as if I'm terrified.
It's as if I scared.
It's as if I'm playing with fire.
Scared.
It's as if I'm terrified.
Are you scared?
Are we playing with fire?

Relax
There is an answer to the darkest times.
It's clear we don't understand but the last thing on my mind
Is to leave you.
I believe that we're in this together.
Don't scream – there are so many roads left.

Relax, take it easy
For there is nothing that we can do.
Relax, take it easy
Blame it on me or blame it on you.

Relax, take it easy
For there is nothing that we can do.
Relax, take it easy
Blame it on me or blame it on you.

Relax, take it easy
For there is nothing that we can do.
Relax, take it easy
Blame it on me or blame it on you.

Relax, take it easy
For there is nothing that we can do.
Relax, take it easy
Blame it on me or blame it on you.

It's as if I'm scared.
It's as if I'm terrified.
It's as if I scared.
It's as if I'm playing with fire.
Scared.
It's as if I'm terrified.
Are you scared?
Are we playing with fire?

Relax
Relax


--

Grace Kelly
by
Mika

Do I attract you?
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty?
Am I too flirty?
Do I like what you like?

I could be wholesome
I could be loathsome
I guess I'm a little bit shy
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you like me without making me try?

I try to be like Grace Kelly
But all her looks were too sad
So I try a little Freddie
I've gone identity mad!

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you walk out the door!

How can I help it
How can I help it
How can I help what you think?
Hello my baby
Hello my baby
Putting my life on the brink
Why don't yo like me
Why don't you like me
Why don't you like yourself?
Should I bend over?
Should I look older just to be put on the shelf?

I try to be like Grace Kelly
But all her looks were too sad
So I try a little Freddie
I've gone identity mad!

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you walk out the door!

Say what you want to satisfy yourself
But you only want what everybody else says you should want

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you walk out the door!

The Calling - not the band ye!

Coming back to work after a week long holiday has somewhat taken it's toll on me.. And I don't mean tol LDP yang naik jadi RM1.60 tu ye..

Yesterday was mostly spent 'fighting' to stay awake.. nak taip pun malas.. hehe..
Today I have to start picking up things as from tomorrow I have to make a "preview" at my new place.. I'll be attenting a meeting (quarterly business meeting or something like that) and on 1st and 2nd March is their residential trainging.. Man, am I nervous!!

So for today, I'll be sharing with you a Japanese song that was released as a single on 9th July 1997 (6 months prior to my arrival) by a rock band/duo named B'z (pronounce as beez, not busy).. If I remember correctly, it was tied up with a drama at that time..
and BTW, I've heard people say when I sing B'z numbers, I sound very much like Koshi Inaba (the singer).. :P

Actually I just downloaded the song last Saturday.. I had in my MD but I haven't been listening to it since a few years back..
Now this song I consider as my forte.. had several memorable moments of it, and one was winning a karaoke contest at my hostel's annual dinner during my 1st year in Japan.. :)

I'm posting the romanized version here and did my own translation (self interpretation that is).. it may be a bit off, but nevertheless.. Enjoy..


Calling
by
B'z

Kono koe ga kikoerukai [Can you hear my voice?]
Wow wow wow ...
Imanara kikoerukai [Can you hear me now?]
Douka kurushimanaide [Please don't be too harsh on yourself]

Atto iuma jikann wa tsunori nanimo mienaku narisou [Time passes by so fast, I can barely see anything]
Machi no iro mo kawari tsuzukeru naka de [as the scenary keeps on changing]
Nanndaka ima mo issho ni iru [we're still together]

Nanika ga kokoro o tsunaide iru [Something is keeping our hearts together]
Itsudemo kini siteiru [I've always noticed it]
Tsuyoi jishaku ni hippararete iru youni [like to strong magnets pulling each other together]
Kiga tsukeba mujaki ni warai au [as we realized it, we laughed innocently]

Hitotsu hitotsu to mado ni akari tomoru [one by one, the light hits the window]

Kimi ga irunara modotte koyou
itsudemo kono basho ni [If you are there, I'll always return to this place]
Kegare naki omoi ga bokura o yonnderu [Clear memories are calling us]
I can hear the calling

Doredake hanare kao ga mienakutemo [No matter how far apart, even if we don't see each other]
tagai ni wasurenai nowa [We'll never forget]
Hitsuyou toshi hitsuyou to sarete iru koto [needing and being needed]
Sore ga subete hokaniwa nani mo nai [and that is all, nothing more]

Kimi to irutoki boku wa boku ni nareru [When you are there, I can be myself]
Souyuu ki ga suru [That is how I feel]
Kotoba yori hayaku wakariaeru [Understanding each other faster than words could describe]
Kagayaku shunnkann azayaka ni [The glow is so bright]
Imamade mo korekara mo yakusoku nado
suru koto wa nai darou [like before, and from now on there shall be no promises]
Darenimo mane dekinai onaji yume wo miyou [Let's share the same dreams, not surpassed by others]
Can you hear the calling

Kono koe ga kikoerukai [Can you hear my voice?]
Wow wow wow ...
Imanara kikoerukai [Can you hear me now?]
Douka kurushimanaide [Please don't be too harsh on yourself]
wow wow wow wow....

Off for the week..

From tomorrow onwards I'm on leave for the whole week.. so, to my buddies that will be celebrating the New Lunar Year, I wish you all..

新年快乐!

as for the others..

Happy Holidays!

and never the less..

Always be careful when travelling.. 安全第一　

;)

See you on the flipside!

Countdown to Extinction

Extinction from my current company that is.. :)

Well, I have officially submitted my resignation as of 2.30pm today..
One month notice should bring my last day to 14th March 2007, but due to the fact that I still have a few days of my annual leave left, my days as an 'Engineer at a Japanese company' might go by faster than expected..

People say good things come to an end.. but I'll take this as a step closer towards achieving my dreams.. like I always say, "Dreams are ment to be chased".. ;)

A reason to celebrate?

Today is February 14th.. some people may see it as a day to celebrate what they wish to celebrate.. birthday, anniversary, whatever special occasion that may coincidently fall on this day.. love related or not.. sweet or even bitter memories.. as much as you may not want to acknowledge the day, it is part of the calender and you still have to bare every 86,400 seconds of it.. :)

I didn't have anything to celebrate for today up until around 9.58am.. that was when I called the company which I went for an interview twice with to confirm about some details of the 3rd session.. Yes, they have 3 stages and mind you, the 3rd stage is a practical test where I'd have to do selling role-play, presentation, financial analysis and write a report - all within a 2 hour time frame! Gila betul (and I do mean that in a positive way).. I mean.. you know the company is 'special' when they have the candidates going through such process to be part of them.. :P
Anyway, as I was ready to hang up, the Director (yup, I called her personal line) said that eventhough I haven't gone through the 3rd stage, they are really interested in hiring me and ready to send me an offer letter.. Walauwei, did I really impress them that much?? hehe..

Of course I'm greatful to God (Al-hamdulillah) and I am very much flattered.. but, this is really putting me on the spot.. the pressure is really ON for me to perform at the 3rd interview/test.. I'm sure they have high expectations.. and also not to forget, I have to rush through resigning from my current job.. as I had written in my previous post, I expected myself to submit my resignation letter on the last week of this month.. now it has suddenly moved up by 2 weeks! Pressure or what?? :P

Keras kepala

I don't mean keras kepala as in stubborn.. but I think I really have a hard head (skull) .. though I never did try to prove it by crushing aluminium cans with my forehead or anything like that.. :P

Yesterday as I was installing a light bulb under my staircase and hit my head twice on the stair beam.. Later in the day, I was checking my cousin's mountain bike's front tyre when the bike fell on me and the handle hit my head!! I figure that was the hardest object to hit my head so far..

It kinda reminded me of my classmate when I was in UK.. this 'butthead' somehow thought it would be funny to headbutt me.. so he came out of nowhere and POWW!! I was more suprised rather than anything else.. and he had actually fell down after that and was rubbing his head in pain.. it seems that the joke was on him.. hehe.. Anyway, half of the kids around me was shocked that I didn't seem to have any reaction to being hedbutted, they said the sound was pretty loud.. :P

I'm not saying I have any superhuman powers or anything.. besides, what good does having an extra hard head bring anyway? You still need to wear a helmet when riding a motorbike.. hehe.. Ohh.. and if you were wondering.. Yes, my head still does hurt, though not swollen.. and I seem to be abit blurry & forgetfull today.. I hope it's just a temporary effect.. I got an important interview tomorrow and I can't affort to be blunt.. ;)

Newbies

I have been working on a few other blogs lately.. Bukan apa, just wanted to segregate what I want to write about.. ;)
But don't worry, I won't neglect this one.. this is like the mothership.. the core.. the base of my operation.. this is where I generate my ideas.. besides, how can you ever forget your 1st.... right? ;)

So guys, behold.. my new passion.. and keep in mind, this is only one of many more to come..

tru$t$en$ei.blog$pot.com

P/S: In case you didn't noticed, the link has been added at the sidebar..

Time flys

Time flys, period.. regardless if you're having fun or not, it really goes by so fast.. That's why in the Al-Quran it says "Demi masa, sesungguhnya manusia itu dalam kerugian".. don't worry, I'm not going to preach you guys here.. ;)

I was flipping through my table calendar just now and noticed that if I were to resign and having to give a one month notice, I'd probably start my new job on 2nd April 2007.. Ironically, I started this job on a same Monday, 2nd April 2001.. 6 years ago.. great way to come full-cirle, huh?

6 years.. now that is actually the longest time I had ever spent with the same group of people I consider as friends.. I had actually miss my first few months of primary school and I had missed the last couple of months too.. so my primary school was not a full 6 years.. and considering students had moved between classes, I really didn't spend that much time with the same bunch..

Then there was high school.. I was in Johor, Batu Pahat during most of my Form 1 year before I moved to KL.. and again because of PMR, I lost more than half of my classmates.. Although I still consider my Form 5 classmates as the tightest lot, we never did hang out much after SPM..

Next was my Japan preparation course.. that was for 2 years.. didn't really clicked with many of my coursemates because I was the only guy that actually dropped from 1st class to 2nd to 3rd to 4th in my 1st year and miraculously bounced back and spent my whole 2nd year in the 1st class.. not bragging here, ok? :P

Then I was in Japan for 3 years.. best experience ever but couldn't beat the distance and only managed to keep in touch with a handful of my buddies after I came back to Malaysia..

So, that was it.. my officemates are currently the longest surviving group of friends that I have.. sure, many left the company along the way but still most of my pals are still here..

And as I look back, the changes I went through during my stay here were some of the highlights of my life so far.. sent back to Japan for training and able to meet up with my friends.. bought my 1st handphone.. bought my 1st car (and a sporty one too).. got promoted.. got engaged.. got married.. got my 1st child.. wrote my 1st book.. had my 1st operation.. countless sweet and bitter memories that made me a whole lot wiser.. :)

Iye le, kalau budak Darjah 1 tu, dah masuk sekolah menengah dah <-- which is actually where my niece is at the moment, Form 1.. hehe..
Ohh and FYI, 2nd interview is next Tuesday.. ;)

I think I'm ready now..

Finally I guess I'm ready to make the 'move'.. Now "I think" or "I guess" may not sound convincing, but if you know me well, that's as good as it gets.. hehe..

So, it seems 2007 will turn out to be a "new begining" for me after all.. just have to wait for the 2nd interview date.. ;)

Life is ironic..

A wise sensei once said to me..
"When you enter the world of employment, you'll face 2 types of co-workers..
1, Those who you can work well with but are not your friends..
2, Those who you consider as your friends with but can't work together with.."

I didn't want to believe this as I have faith that I could work well with and be friends with my colleagues.. and I thought those I call "friends from the office" are truly those I can rely on 24-7.. but after being employed for almost 6 years, I finally see it.. it's true, there are only 2 types of "office mates"..

I was "temporary transferred" to a different group since the last few weeks.. Usually in a Japanese company such moves can be considered as a sign that you are no longer of use to the company.. it was common in the Japanese business culture to move around people to pressure them to quit willingly instead of firing them.. I once heard a story that this guy was transferred from one place to another until he ended up with no desk at the office and was told to just read the newspaper.. Lucky (or unlucky) that was not my case (I won't mind being asked to read the papers all day.. hehe).. I was transferred to my department's "All-Stars" group.. I call them the All-Stars because they are doing jobs that are the heart of this company.. their sweat go into the product that we produce.. not to mention they are the top-ranked bonus earners every year and the Japanese bosses are really dependent on them.. a few of them had sent their resignation letter before but the Japanese bosses actually made counter-offers to persuade them to stay on.. they were promoted soon after.. :P

I had always considered myself as the "golden rookie" in my group.. I know I had done well over the years - I did it on purpose, it was my mask.. ;)
but I never considered myself to be as good as one of the "All-Stars".. I know where I stand, I belong to a support group and as good as I may be, I'd never be in the "starting eleven" of the company.. a doomed fate for any support group member.. :P

Due to the nature of my job (being in a support group) I also play the 'joker' card.. I get myself involved in company related activities usually as a committee member.. annual dinners, outings, whatever.. usually my name will pop-up.. I don't mind doing it as I see it as an opportunity to make a change in what others only complain and do nothing about..
A 'wacko' sensei once said "if you want to make this world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that change".. ;)

Being 'active' has somewhat made me popular (in a good and bad way - save that for another entry).. it also helped me to make quite a bunch friends from every all ranks.. including the "All-Stars".. I'd hang out with them, chat about non-work related things and I figured that they were OK with me.. until my "temporary transfer"..

Another wise sensei said "Sarang tebuan jangan jolok".. I guess the Japanese boss that came up with the idea of putting me "on loan" to the "All-Stars" group had never watched P. Ramlee movies, because he certainly did jolok the sarang tebuan.. and now my life (in the office) is a mess.. I was put incharge of things that was totally out of my capability and knowledge.. right smack in the middle of the action.. It was like getting an acceptance letter to the military collage and sent straight to Iraq.. THAT bad.. :P
at first I thought I'd just take up the challenge, might just earn me something good in the future.. besides, I was in good terms with the "All-Stars", we're cool....... NOT!!
It seems that people can change within a split second when it comes to work and ranks.. I soon found that I was alone.. my 'former' groups shut me out of any jobs that could bring me back, while my 'new' group just let off to cross the high wire without a safety net..
I guess that's life.. I always dreamt to fly but and right now, on the high wire trying to balance myself.. I just feel like jumping.. Isn't it ironic?

-- spoiler alert --

Talking about ironic.. I finally got to see the ending to Janji Joni yesterday..
It took me over a year to see the ending because of an 'interruption' when I first saw it.. I kinda merajuk and never bothered to find out the ending.. and yesterday (after forgetting the channel and time slot), I saw it at about the same point where I left off.. It seems that in the movie, Joni did failed to deliver the 2nd reel of film and the viewers left the cinema without getting to see the ending of the movie.. Ironic huh?..

Ohh.. and by the way, the girl's name was Angelique.. she did waited for Joni and did saw the ending of the movie together with him.. Voni could only wished she had met Joni earlier..

and guess what?.. You belong to me was used as a BGM in that movie!

What happened to January??

I seemed to have skipped a good 2 weeks of my life.. and its all because of this crapy Japanese boss.. >:[

I won't go into details as it sucks just thinking about it..
Anyway, I got some uplifting news yesterday.. I take it as a sign that February would turn out better.. see how la..

I guess this calls for a song..

You Belong to Me
originally by
Sue Thompson

See the pyramids along the Nile
Watch the sun rise on a tropic isle
Just remember, darling, all the while
You belong to me.

See the marketplace in old Algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
But remember when a dream appears
You belong to me.

Ill be so alone without you
Maybe youll be lonesome too---and blue

Fly the ocean in a silver plane
Watch the jungle when its wet with rain
Just remember till you're home again
You belong to me

Heard Mr Sherman Pore sang it on American Idol's LA Audition and it went straight to my heart.. weird..

Who am I..?

Remember this cartoon series?



Well, this has nothing to do with M.A.S.K.. though I was a huge fan and had a handful of the toys.. :) You can read more about M.A.S.K. at Wikipedia.

Anyway, the tag line is something I find to be very interesting..

"ILLUSION IS THE ULTIMAE WEAPON"

Which also reminds me of a quote from Jim Carrey's movie The Mask.

"We all wear mask..."

And not to forget a line from Macy Gray's I Try

"But my smile is just a front"

Whether we do it on purpose or not.. we all actually do wear 'mask' in terms of how we portray ourselves.. I'm one who's totally for it.. I mean, it really is common in this world where TV is still a major source of information and entertainment (now why does that reminds me of RTM? hehe).. We see a guy on TV, and what is shown is what we sub-consciously believe as the real him.. Of course we can differentiate acting and reality but in terms of a TV personality, newscaster, morning show host, etc.. well, these guys are mostly hiding their true self from the viewers.. I'm not saying this in a bad way, but that is the fact.. They wear 'mask' in terms of nice (sponsored) clothes, put on a fair amount of make up (facial mask pun boleh masuk sekali le.. hehe) and smiles cheerfully through out the show.. That's also the reason as to why 'reality stars' frequently say that the image on TV is not the real them..

Previously I had mentioned that life is like a movie, and we are the main star.. so, in accordance to that, we are actually actors that play a certain character according to the story.. Which brings to my point --> We actually decide how we want to be receive by others by choosing what mask we wear.. People's perception is not shaped by what we are (or were) but what we present to them there and then.. Batman is Batman because he wears a bat shaped mask not a red one with web design on it.. Kal El is Clark Kent because he chooses to play a nerdy guy - even though he only puts fake glasses on, nobody can figure out he's actually Superman..
So, if you say you are born shy, it is you yourself that put on the 'shy mask' on constantly that makes even new people that you meet believe that you are shy.. creativeslave85 asked me how to come out of 'the shell'.. Well, you actually can come out of it at every new junction in your life.. at every opportunity of meeting new people, put on the different mask.. Why? Because prior to that, they don't know you and their only perception of you is that of that point and so forth.. For example.. when you enter a new class.. even though only one of them is new to you, his/her image of you is not yet shaped until you portray the mask that you have on.. whatever he/she have heard about you weighs noting to actually seeing it with his/her own eyes..

Some may say this is plain hypocrisy here.. well, if that's how you view it, than it is negative la.. besides, hypocrisy is when you lie or have a hidden agenda.. but if you look at it in a positive and honest way, it will help you build your self-esteem..
Another example.. How do you become a good employee? Do you be a good employee by frowning every time being given a new task? Because if that is the mask you're using, then you've just thrown your talents down the drain! People don't see your talent but see your expression first.. So you can be the good employee by behaving like one.. simple as that.. Now, is that bad? YES, if you just smile for 5 seconds and go about saying "to hell with this" in your heart.. but NO if you put on the mask the whole time you're at the office.. play that 'good employee' role when you work because that is what you did during the interview, and that is what the employer wants to see.. portray that 'charismatic leader' front well when you are given a team to lead.. because sooner or later, you'll actually believe that the mask you are wearing is really you - be it positive or negative! Then, when you go home at the end of a bad day, just take off that mask.. at home, you are not the 'employee' anymore.. leave it for the office, tomorrow's another day.. That's the good thing about wearing a 'mask' - you can always take it off and still be yourself when you choose too.. It might scare a few people when you unveil your true self, but that's quite normal.. :) Also.. when you have mastered this, you'll be able to stop judging a book by its cover and give room to allow other people to have that benefit of the doubt.. Nice way to live.. rite?

Ohh.. if you were wondering, yes, I personally try to walk the talk here.. I've been trying to wear a certain mask but at times my emotions have gotten the better of me.. I've not given up hope yet though.. So, although here I'm the 'sensei' in the blog world, don't be surprised if you catch me as the 'gakusei' (student) asking alot of questions somewhere else.. I got a few masks in my bag.. Because illusion is truely a strong weapon... ;)


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By the way, did you know that there are at least 3 layers in the Japanese language?
There's the polite language spoken with people who are of upper level than you, there's the normal language spoken with people of the same level and also language used when speaking with people of below your level. And commonly the 'polite language' is used as a barrier if you don't want that person (of the same level as you) to be personally close to you. Means you speak rudely to those who you want to be you friends.. Funny kan?

Kena 'curi'...

Due to the recent 'progress' at the office, I have somewhat lost the passion to blog.. I really hate it when such things happen.. To me, being passionate about something is what makes me, well, me la..
I had a few topics I wanted to address but I need time to get back into my 'zone'..
yes, other than being a self-proclaim passionate person, I am known to me a very moody person.. ask my mother if you don't believe me.. hehe

Anyway.. as a teaser (or a 'get-my-mood-back') post, I'm going to share with you this song.. I'm not a fan of these guys but they do come out with listenable tunes at times.. Only heard this song about 3 times last week (mostly during my drive back home) and I was hooked.. Since then, I tuned in to that chart show every single day now but I haven't gotten to hear it not even once this week.. and it's driving me nuts.. :P

So.. here's the lyrics.. Enjoy..

Stolen
by
Dashboard Confessional


We watch the season
Pull up it's own stakes
And catch the last weekend
Of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced
Another sun soaked season fades away

You have stolen my heart
You have stolen my heart

Invitation only
Grant Farewells
Crash the best one
Of the best ones
Clear liquor and cloudy eyed
Too early to say goodnight

You have stolen my heart
You have stolen my heart

And from the ballroom floor
We are in celebration
One good stretch before our hibernation
Our dreams assured and we all
Will sleep well

Sleep Well
Sleep Well
Sleep Well
Sleep Well

you have stolen
you have stolen my
you have stolen my heart

Watch you spin around
In your highest heels
You are the best one
Of the best ones
And we..
All..
Look..
Like..
We..
Feel..

you have stolen my
you have stolen my
you have stolen my heart

P/S:
There's always a reason for something.. and always more than 1 way to interpert something.. Most of the time we don't see what is really there because we choose not to.. I relate to this song in more ways than one.. ;)

Just my day..

Every once in a while we all face one of those days where you just feel like screaming your lungs out.. Today was mine.. at it's only 10am!! :P

As my daily routine goes, I'd always log-in 1st thing in the morning to see what my fellow bloggers were up to.. I'd leave a comment to show my support or if I got something to say about the subject.. but today, I found out that they (my office) had somehow blocked the comment section.. I could still read the comments though not as convinient (had to click on the title of the post first).. but still it had spoiled my mood for the morning..

And so I went to the pantry to eat my breakfast, like any other day.. but noooo.. as I was taking my 3rd bite, one of the Japanese boss stepped in and said to me "Fauzan, no eating during working hours".. I was speechless.. What the..??!! Atleast I'm eating at the pantry, not in the air-conditioned office! Now, I don't smoke, so I don't go to the pantry every 10 minutes to smoke.. I only go there ONCE in the morning to and ONCE in the afternoon mainly for snacks.. Is that so bad? Seesshhhh..

I was saving this of another day, but I guess today is just as good to share it with you guys.. And to think I was actually looking forward to go to work this wet Monday morning..





P/S: I might not be able to reply any comments for the moment.. Damn!!

New Year, New Me.. part 3

Pimpin' sensei's Vi.. Here's how I spent my 'rehabilitation' period.. hehe


1 Jan 2007, Monday

1st day of 2007.. Just imagine it's been 10 years since 1997.. and 20 if you count from 1987.. Tak sangka Proton masih produce model Iswara kan? :P
New year's day was spent with another outing.. the whole family went to IKEA.. Didn't plan on buying anything in particular but I did bought a baby chair for Amani.. more or less as her birthday present.. :) I wanted to get a car magazine for reference but nothing caught my interest.. My sister headed back home later that evening..


2 Jan 2007, Tuesday

My wife had to go to the office so I accompanied her to try out my new notebook's wi-fi function.. 'lucky' for me most of the net was still down due to the Taiwan earthquake.. :(
On the way back we went window shopping for car accessories around Selayang and Gombak.. I kinda got a rough idea on how I was gonna pimp my ride.. ;) Cik Ju sefamili dropped by later that evening.. Dia bawak ole-ole dari kampung.. my favourite rambutans! And as I was chatting with Uncle Bad, the topic of rims and tyres came up..Coincidently he had just changed his rims and tyres that day in Klang and since he was a regular customer, he could get a far more better deal then what I had surveyed earlier..Since he was on leave until Friday, I made a appointment with him to check out the shop the next day.. :)


3 Jan 2007, Wednesday

First thing on the list was the follow up check up.. Doc took out the plastic thingy from my nose and I was given MC until Friday.. Yeayy :)
Next was getting new 'shoes' for sensei's Vi.. Here are the pics..

Last shot - this is the last time you'll see sensei's Vi in it's original form.. :)

Mix and match.. sensei's Vi trying out the choises available..

Red Nuts.. I told you I'm nuts for red.. hehe

Goodbye boyz.. These dudes got me around a good 30,000km :')

Daddy got me new shoes.. Cool huh? :)

4 Jan 2007, Thursday

Refreshing my ride.. sensei's Vi sent for service..Also found time to survey for mirror tinting prices and shop for sticker (only bought basic black, white and reflective silver stripe)..

Refreshed - sensei's Vi getting a well deserved shower..

First try.. had too start small to see how it'll look like..

5 Jan 2007, Friday

New shades.. Accessories hunting.. got the spoiler and stabilizer/lower bar and had them installed later that afternoon..

Matching colour stabilizer bar.. again, red.. hehe..

Getting pierced.. spoiler installation required holes drilled to sensei's Vi.. ouch!

6 Jan 2007, Saturday

Took a test drive to Melaka for my best friend's wedding.. He had asked me to be the pengapit during akad nikah but I couldn't fulfill his wishes as I was still in the hospital that day.. :(
Anyhow, I was really happy for him.. Selamat BerBAHGIA (that's his name - Bahgia)


7 Jan 2007, Sunday

Woke up early to work on the hood design and side door stickers.. very time consuming and stressful.. finished up everything around 5pm.. I was quite satisfied with the end result as I got everthing done as planned except the headlamps.. still hunting for that one.. maybe later on laa.. ;)

What was initially designed.. I used Microsoft Paint for this..

Actual finished product.. I think this one looks better.. kan?

The Top 4 List - It was supposed to be my Top 5 Best 80s Rock Band but I couldn't decide on the 5th.. well, maybe later.. :P

I finally did it!

One from the back.. ;)

Check out the babe! - Amani striking a killer pose..

Wanna go for a spin? - Amani tak sabar nak ajak jalan.. hehe